Conflict Resolution

“…walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us.”

Ephesians 4:1b-3 HCSB

Even after being married for over half of our lives, my husband and I still don’t agree or even understand what each other is trying to say at times.

We are often so busy, it’s more like we’re “spitting” information at each other as we’re passing by. Sometimes we’ll raise our voices “just to be heard” over the other. When I say we’re arguing, he’ll say we’re not. And then we both stop really listening to what the other says because we don’t feel validated.

Christian counselors often suggest improving communication by taking turns listening to each other, without interruption, followed by repeating what we’ve heard before we begin to ask clarifying questions. Sometimes, we forget our questions and talking points by the time it’s our turn to share!

We tend to agree on the major topics that cause issues for many in their marriages. But we seem to lose the peace, patience, and unity that comes with humility, gentleness, and diligence.

Marriages will have conflicts. We will have disagreements and misunderstandings. It’s because we are so close with our spouse that it hurts to be misunderstood and in conflict with one another.

By spending time in prayer, alone and in unison, we will strengthen our spiritual bond and increase our ability to show love and respect to one another, asking the Lord for His blessing.

PRAYER: Dear Lord,
It can sometimes seem difficult living together with a spouse. We desire for our relationship to be connected and easy, but there are struggles. Lord, You understand each of us and we have committed ourselves to lovingly be there for one another. Help us to keep our relationship with You first. Please help us see our spouses through Your eyes and listen with Your ears and heart.
In Christ’s name, Amen.

Journal: Take some time to create a list of ways you are grateful for your spouse. When the conflicts come, remember the blessings you have shared. Give each other a little space and time when needed before addressing the issue.

Photo by Timo Stern on Unsplash

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